Perfumes for Imaginary Encounters

Mr. Colombina came up with a little game, in which he randomly names famous people and I name a perfume that I would wear if I were to meet them. Fun for me, most probably boring for him, but he undoubtedly does it to earn brownie points. He often has great suggestions, but as he doesn't know any many actual perfumes, his suggestions are of general -and not seldom politically incorrect- character. So here is what we've got so far...

Queen Elizabeth II. Mr Colombina thinks that the perfume should be conservative, more regal than royal [the line I am totally stealing], and should smell of exotic things from the colonies and... the corgis. I think that the perfume should be exceptionally refined, ladylike and comforting for me, because let's face it, if I were to meet the Queen, I would be a nervous wreck. Therefore my perfume would be Chanel No 22, the one perfume that combines astounding elegance with an unexpected comforting feel, probably due to the presence of incense.

Dalai Lama. One of my favorite quotes of his (along with "the philosophy is kindness") is this: "I believe that the very purpose of life is to be happy.(...) Since we are not solely material creatures, it is a mistake to place all our hopes for happiness on external development alone. The key is to develop inner peace." If there is one thing that I am in need of, it is inner peace. To meet Dalai Lama I would wear a perfume that gives me that feeling of calm and harmony, Christian Dior Eau Noire.

Gianni Versace. We both agree that the scent should be sexy and a little vulgar, impressive because of its name more so than of its quality. I am not a fan of Versace Blonde, but it does fulfill all the criteria, and that is what I'd wear.

Catherine the Great. Mr Colombina's suggestion: "Something French, powder-based, with equine overtones..." I, however, think that the choice is obvious - Parfum d'Empire Ambre Russe with its notes of excess: leather, vodka, tea, champagne, tobacco, incense, amber...could it BE any more perfect?

Hugh Hefner. Mr Colombina's suggestions are not fit to be published on a family blog. I think I'd opt for a perfume that, whenever I wear it, magically inflates my bosom, gives me luxurious hair extensions and a perfect pout, in other words, Frederic Malle Lipstick Rose, the ultimate pinup scent.

Van Gogh. For Mr Colombina, "it would be something you'd wear behind your ear. Sunflowers. Cannabis." I am going to disregard that and honor the vivid works of the painter by wearing Frederic Malle Carnal Flower, a scent that, in the best traditions of expressionism, "distorts reality for an emotional effect" by infusing the scents with the killer dose of tuberose.

Marlene Dietrich. Mr Colombina had great suggestions in this case, and I for once would follow them: "Something slightly masculine, with an air of unattainability, a hint of tobacco and freshly oiled jackboots". And that could only means one fragrance - Caron Tabac Blond.

Lady Godiva. Mr Colombina says: "A perfume you can buy in New York on a tax free day. Chocolate." I say, Bliss Blass Nude. 'Nuff said.

Adam. The perfume should have "an air of utopia", says Mr Colombina. "A hint of temptation, novelty. It should be a perfumer's ultimate creation [good one!]". To that I would add that the scent should be extremely sensuous, so as to make the process of seducing the first male easier. And that brings us to - what else!- Frederic Malle Muss Ravageur.

Mary Magdalene. The perfume can only be Caron Parfum Sacre. Roses and myrrh, sacred feminine...

Jean Paul Sartre. "Something frequently mispronounced. Gauloises. Slightly nauseating". His description makes me think of Etat Libre d'Orange Jasmin et Cigarette. I, on the other hand, want to focus on a beautiful quote from Nausea, "I exist. It's sweet, so sweet, so slow..." and go with Serge Lutens Fleurs d'Oranger.

Rosie O'Donnell. "Brash and no longer in the view", quips Mr Colombina. As for me... Rosie intimidates me. She is one scary person. So to meet her I would wear something that would make me feel strong and in control, Robert Piguet Bandit.

Caligula. Mr Colombina: "Musk, something with rich oils, olive, an orgy of essences". He also once said that Serge Lutens Muscs Koublai Khan smells like Caligula's sofa, so we'll go with Khan.

Genghis Khan. Mr Colombina wanted to go the obvious route: "Something that says, pillage me! Something barbarian." But to meet Genghis's Khan, I don't necessarily want to smell like him. I would want to smell like nothing else he has ever experienced, I want an ethereal, soft, subtly-dazzling scent of a kind of angelic beauty that he has never before encountered...a scent that would make him place his kingdom at my feet...Antica Farmacista Casablanca.

Casanova. "Potent" is Mr Colombina's requirement for the scent. My line of thinking goes in a different direction...aren't we, perfume lovers, in a sense, Casanovas? We love a perfume, we possess it, we move on to the next object of desire...And so to honor Casanova, I'd wear a scent that I am madly in love with at the moment, Christian Dior Diorama. How long will I love it? Only time will tell.

What would you wear to meet these people? Any more additions to the list? Do share!