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Thursday, May 18, 2006

From The Mouths of Husbands...Mr Colombina Reviews Fresh Cannabis Santal

When my wife, the lovely Colombina suggested I give this review thing another go, I thought she was kidding when she suggested Cannabis Santal. (by Fresh … Prince of Belair … I think she said).

I suspect though, that whoever the perfumer is …it is actually just a front for some Colombian perfume cartel.

OK, so I knew what Cannabis was … and for the life of me … couldn’t figure out why anyone would want to smell like bong water …or as they say in the perfume world … “Eau de Bong.”

But before I began, I wondered what Santal meant.

(time to Google)

The “Santals” are one of the largest ethnic groups in India apparently. So was I to expect a scent combining the smells of India? Perhaps a curry?

With my first sniff … and as you may know from my last post, I am olfactory-challenged … I again locked in just on the smell of alcohol. Cannabis, alcohol and a curry? Sounds like a good weekend with the Gallagher Brothers of Oasis fame

I then discovered that Santal is also the name of a popular range of fizzy fruit drinks in Italy, Portugal, Brazil and Australia. Confused, I asked the Mrs. And she told me Santal was French for Sandalwood.

Sniff number two and I began to get past the alcohol smell and my spidey senses detected something sweet and fruit-like ….well like a fizzy fruit drink actually.

Noted in its absence, was the smell of cannabis!

No contact high, no light-headedness, no desire to play air guitar and talk like Jeff Spicoli, no late-night search for cheese nips and other munchies. Clearly this was a case of false advertising.

I began to think of who they could use as an advertising spokesperson. Unfortunately Bob Marley is dead. Cheech and Chong seem too obvious!

What about Bill Clinton? How could you trust him to endorse the perfume if he never inhales it? How about Ricky Williams of the Miami Dolphins? “I failed my urine test again but really …it was only because of my cologne!”

I also now wondered if Cannabis Santal was available in various grades of quality (and what their associated street values would be). Was there a Maui-Wowwee version? A home-grown Alaska-windowbox skunk version?

OK, time to digress …

Cannabis is a genus of flowering plant that includes one or more species. The plant is believed to have originated in the mountainous regions just north-west of the Himalayas in India
. AHA …the Santals must have something to do with this!

Though it could also come from Northern Africa
. It is also known as hemp, although this term usually refers to cannabis cultivated for non-drug use. As a drug it usually comes in the form of dried flowers (marijuana), resin (hashish), or various extracts collectively referred to as hash oil.

Sandalwood … well just a wood …and not good fodder for cheeky comments so I won’t say so much about it.

Getting back to the scent …

It is highly (pardon the pun) wearable and very pleasant. All kidding on the name aside, I would recommend it (and even wear it) though I think it could be a wee bit overpowering if you put on too much.

Though the cannabis won’t give you the munchies per se … I did feel a slight bit peckish from the food smells. I am guessing there was either a cocoa or vanilla bean kind of smell and as I mentioned earlier … fruit (Kind of like tangerines).

To be honest, I half expected it smell like POT pourri.

Surely my wife will tell me I’m from Mars and am just imagining those smells from ingredients that aren’t really there. That it’s just rose oil or some such. But that’s what MY nose tells me and I’m sticking with it.

Seacrest Out.


(Courtesy of:

* All schoolbooks were made from hemp or flax paper until the 1880s.
* It was LEGAL TO PAY TAXES WITH HEMP in America from 1631 until the early 1800s.
* REFUSING TO GROW HEMP in America during the 17th and 18th Centuries WAS AGAINST THE LAW! You could be jailed in Virginia for refusing to grow hemp from 1763 to 1769.
* George Washington, Thomas Jefferson and other founding fathers GREW HEMP. Jefferson smuggled hemp seeds from China to France then to America.
* Benjamin Franklin owned one of the first paper mills in America and it processed hemp. Also, the War of 1812 was fought over hemp. Napoleon wanted to cut off Moscow's export to England.
* For thousands of years, 90% of all ships' sails and rope were made from hemp. The word 'canvas' is Dutch for cannabis.
* 80% of all textiles, fabrics, clothes, linen, drapes, bed sheets, etc. were made from hemp until the 1820s with the introduction of the cotton gin.
* The first Bibles, maps, charts, Betsy Ross's flag, the first drafts of the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution were made from hemp.
* The first crop grown in many states was hemp. 1850 was a peak year for Kentucky producing 40,000 tons. Hemp was the largest cash crop until the 20th Century.
* Oldest known records of hemp farming go back 5000 years in China, although hemp industrialization probably goes back to ancient Egypt.
* Rembrants, Gainsboroughs, Van Goghs as well as most early canvas paintings were principally painted on hemp linen.
* In 1916, the U.S. Government predicted that by the 1940s all paper would come from hemp and that no more trees need to be cut down. Government studies report that 1 acre of hemp equals 4.1 acres of trees. Plans were in the works to implement such programs;
* Quality paints and varnishes were made from hemp seed oil until 1937. 58,000 tons of hemp seeds were used in America for paint products in 1935;
* Henry Ford's first Model-T was built to run on hemp gasoline and the CAR ITSELF WAS CONTRUCTED FROM HEMP! On his large estate, Ford was photographed among his hemp fields. The car, 'grown from the soil,' had hemp plastic panels whose impact strength was 10 times stronger than steel.


Blogger lilybp said...

Dear Mr. C,
I don't think your lovely wife would say that you were crazy at all; I haven't smelled CS, but according to WWD, it has "top notes of bergamot, brazilian orange and black plum. The heart of the scent includes patchouli, rose and cannabis accord, which intermingle with a base of chocolate, vetiver and vanilla musk."

So--good smelling, wonderful writing, and HIGHLY interesting information! Thank you!

6:38 AM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mr Colombina, congratulations on your second review, just as refreshing, witty and adorable as the first one. I can see that both Mr and Mrs Colombina not only have great taste for fragrances but also an enormous sense of writing. well-done and looking forward to the next one ;)!

8:26 AM EDT  
Blogger Heather said...

This was lovely.

I cannot for the life of me write with the flounce and beauty of your dear Colombina, However, Mr C I think you and I would have gone to the same school.

You should share this blog - it gives it a whole new twist, certainly my MD would never submit anything so charming - god forbid he should ever get his hands on my password!!


10:49 AM EDT  
Blogger marlen said...

Congrats on a great read, man!


12:19 PM EDT  
Blogger priscilla said...

This is terrific. Very funny and also informative. I'm going to send this link to my husband, who is getting into trying out scents (because I am doing it and he likes to be included). When he sees this, he'll probably want a guest spot on my blog!

12:32 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a treat, one more review from the Mr C:-) And it leaves a lot to think about too, like how to name perfumes and more.
Mr C - you have such a way with words that I get this happy smile on my face when reading. Your and Mrs C must share a wonderful and very rewarding relationship:-D

2:01 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As Greeneyes says, a great read for the hubby who is just trying out fragrance. I loved this post, who says fragrance isn't educational. I wonder what/when minds got changed about cannabis. What caused the switch, since alchohol was oulawed and then inlawed...wait...nevermind the inlaws.

2:59 PM EDT  
Blogger NowSmellThis said...

Right on target, all of it! Thanks for the great review.

5:14 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very good review + I really enjoyed the extra bonus facts...

9:19 PM EDT  
Blogger Caitlin Shortell said...

Very amusing and elegantly written. Who says that vaudeville is dead? This wife and husband team can't be beat!

10:44 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear commenters,
Thank you for your kind words. I am glad you enjoy reading my naive thoughts as much as I enjoy writing them. It's always an honor to be a guest blogger on my wife's blog. I look forward to giving it a go in the near future. In the meantime I return you to the more serious and informed Colombina.
Thanks again,
Mr. C-crest out. :-)

11:38 PM EDT  
Blogger Kelley said...

Buddy, I think you are hysterically funny! I have enjoyed your reviews and look forward to many more. I love Columbina but it's nice to have a distraction every now and then.

Every time I use the word "hysterical", I am reminded that the word means:

Etymology: New Latin, from English hysteric, adjective, from Latin hystericus, from Greek hysterikos, from hystera womb; from the Greek notion that hysteria was peculiar to women and caused by disturbances of the uterus.

We have sure come a long way. I am also still laughing about the "ass fragrances" photo from a past review!


10:09 AM EDT  
Blogger marchlion said...

On me this is straight sandalwood, without even a hint of the smell of cannabis, which I have read about and heard described on television shows and on the radio, but obviously would have no direct knowledge of.

8:34 PM EDT  
Blogger Marina said...


9:00 PM EDT  
Blogger IrisLA said...

Very enjoyable reading. Keep 'em coming, Mr. C!

Dear Colombina, If NowSmellThis doesn't mind, perhaps you and Mr. C can do something like a He Said She Said format.

4:39 PM EDT  
Blogger Marina said...

In our case it would be more like, She Said, He Joked :-)

4:51 PM EDT  
Blogger IrisLA said...

Well said! :o)

6:37 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I tried this hyped-up scent at Sephora yesterday and it is pretty raunchy vile stuff. Think tobacco but in an old, burnt out stub cigarette kind of way that is acrid, bitter, and chemical. And then mix that with some cheap drugstore perfume and you have Cannabis Santal. Get it if you want to tell your friends that the scent you are wearing has pot in it (for the novelty factor), but as for the quality of the scent itself, it is pretty nasty.

12:09 PM EDT  

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