Perfume Review: Alexander McQueen Kingdom

Review by Kelley Every time I wear Kingdom, I have this image in my head that I just can’t shake. Have you ever had someone say something to you that almost ruined your enjoyment of a fragrance? I remember reading on Basenotes about a guy that was wearing a spicy, clove based scent to the dentist and now he can’t wear it without feeling sick to his stomach. This problem I have is also because of fellow Basenoters and their reviews (sorry, but this is one instance I definitely don’t agree with the many reviewers of Kingdom). You see the problem is “love-purse”. Let me explain by quoting one of my favorite scenes from the Steve Martin film, “The Lonely Guy”. Picture Steve sitting at his typewriter clack-clack-clacking away with a serious look on his face. He has just been fired from a greeting card company for writing depressing cards. Let’s listen in as he reads from his very first attempt at a romance novel… “Soon the primal fire began to burn in Lady Hookstratton’s body. Her hips twitched and trembled as each fireball from Oliver’s powerful cannon erupted like molten lava into the quivering mouth of her ever fluttering love-purse.” Maybe this review should have come with an “R” rating? Okay, so the problem is that there are a million reviews of Kingdom that describe it as reminding straight men of a certain area of the female body, now known as the “love-purse”. WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH THAT? You know the closest I have ever come to a, you know, was the instant I was born. Given that fact, I have to heartily disagree with my fellow Basenoters on this. I may not have first hand proof, however… Oh, and I know where all the horny guys on BN got their ideas, from the ad Mr. McQueen released! “[Kingdom] is a fragrance created to evoke sensuality and sexuality. It aims to describe women’s private world, when no men are present.” From website osMos.com I would like to stress that the ad said it describes “women’s private WORLD” and not “private parts”. Kingdom is a spicy/oriental, created in 2003. Notes include: Calabrian Bergamot, Sicilian Mandarin, Orange , Tunisian Neroli, Rose, Indian Jasmine, Cumin, Ginger, French Vanilla, and Indonesian Myrrh I just wish that I could do this scent justice in my review but it is almost beyond description. The first spray is always a shock with loads of indolic jasmine, juicy ginger root, and cumin. This is the garden of desire. My heart starts beating faster with the excitement of the initial notes. On my skin, the opening notes remind me of dark Dutch paintings in which overripe fruit lie sliced and arranged under huge sprays of tulips and roses and orchids, many of which are beginning to wilt and drop petals. The top notes start falling away after about an hour. When the florals have gone, it’s all about cumin and vanilla and myrrh. McQueen’s ads say that this scent is all about sandalwood but I never get much sandalwood in this. The next stage is still sexy and sweaty but it stays closer to the skin. The myrrh eventually takes center stage and has a moldy, mushroomy quality that reminds me of dirt and decay. Do you see the beauty of this scent and its design? It starts off with lust and passion…with crushed jasmine and sensuous fruit and then leaves you surrounded by heavenly myrrh. We have crawled out of bed with a lover only to run to church. I feel so naughty when I wear this. Kingdom is artistic. It’s extremely strange. It's polarizing. It’s shocking in its blatant sexuality. It was doomed to failure from the instant it was born. The body lotion has more of a sandalwood smell and is more masculine in character. Will I let the other reviewers ruin this fragrance for me? Nope. Do I still love and wear Kindgom? All the time. Do I still have that silly image in my head? Yep, and it makes me laugh. I would like to make a request that if you love scents of all kinds, that you at least try this. Kingdom is/was available in an eau de toilette, and a limited edition eau de toilette as well as a special summer edition, but my favorite is the original eau de parfum. It is still available online at Ebay and other discount perfume sellers until it’s gone for good. Photo of Bosch's "Garden of Earthly Delights" is from ibiblio.org