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Monday, July 14, 2008

Perfume Review - Creed Royal English Leather

By Beth

I love my husband. To me he is one of the sexiest men alive and I’ve always felt that way about him even after 28 years. He’s quite attractive in what my mother calls a “British sort of way” and he looks marvelous in a kilt. He doesn’t wear his kilt with all of the pomp and nonsense, he wears it with a blue Irish wool sweater and looks as if he’s walked right out of the Highlands. He is quite formal about his tux though and it must be double breasted. His very thick hair is gray in all of the right places and long enough for me to play with. There’s always been something about him that seemed timeless, of another place where men were a bit more dignified and by contrast much more bawdy, when men wore their hair long and wavy and they weren’t at all afraid to wear velvet and a bit of lace with their leather. He used to ride my stallion bareback with only a halter for control. I can easily picture him with a saber and a pistol although now the only weapons that he brandishes are purely raw courage, a rich and sarcastic sense of humor and his lightning quick intellect. On the softer side, he cried the day that I married him and has been a perfect father to our son. He got down on one knee and asked me to remarry him in front of my whole family and our friends two Christmases ago. He is loyal to the point of obsession and very passionate. He is warm in the autumn and always smells to me like fresh windfall apples and very good cigars. He never kisses and tells. He is the perfect gentleman, quiet and powerful in the boardroom and........

He has never worn a fragrance because we have never found one that suited such a spectacular sort of man. But, one day about a month ago I found myself standing at the Creed counter at Saks Fifth Avenue, looking for yet another Lily of the Valley fragrance. Tia, the absolutely fabulous Creed SA was trying in vain to find one for me and was generously proffering me with lots of samples in the hopes that I might yet again fall in love. It was then that I noticed an absolutely gorgeous amber vial filled with a golden elixir, understated yet intriguing, coolly beckoning me closer. I read the label, Royal English Leather. “Hmm” , I thought, “maybe I could love this”, being one that has had more indecent fantasies of romps with royalty then you could even begin to imagine. Then , I sniffed. When they picked me up off of the floor, they told me that I had fainted dead away in something like an orgasmic swoon, whispering Byronic inspired prose.

What I remembered when I came to was a beautiful meadow , gorgeous dappled bay horses with ribbons in their manes, beautiful, naked young men clothed only in flowing long hair with lutes and the soft strands of Scarborough Fair playing through my memory. My husband was there, quite naked as well. I won’t go any further, I told you that I have very indecent fantasies!

Yet, through the haze of my all too vivid imagination there was something familiar stirring. My cell phone was ringing, bringing me sadly back to this century. Fortunately, it was Jim inviting me to meet him for lunch at Nordstrom's. I quickly sprayed some of the Royal English Leather on my wrists, steadied myself and went to meet him. After commenting on my pale and wanton visage, he cocked his head and asked to smell my wrist. He took a deep breath and kissed it as if he would have liked to bite. “Hmm” he said, “I want you to go buy that right now”.

Royal English Leather is one of the oldest fragrances still being produced having been commissioned by King Charles III. It is a romantic fragrance filled with leather, mandarin and ambergris. It smells of tobacco and the sweat of a magnificent horse. It is totally classy yet filled with skank. Every time my husband wears it I become weak in the knees which he must not mind because he’s been wearing it everyday. Such pleasure from such a simple little thing. The one time I tried to wear it I was informed that I wasn’t allowed to touch it. Torture.

Creed Royal English Leather can be found easily online, definitely at Saks Fifth Avenue and many other wonderful stores. Try it and see if you don’t enjoy the Jacobean fantasies it produces, but please be sure to not let go of the counter!

Photo from the Creed US Homepage.

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22 Comments:

Blogger chayaruchama said...

Oh, Bethlette !
HOT DAMN, girl...
You ARE good.
Love this, too.

[And, despite his blasted youth-
KEEP that husband of yours FAR FROM ME...-just joking, darling.
Friendship is more sacred than sex, in my book !]

Can I shower now?

7:30 AM EDT  
Blogger Beth Gehring said...

Chaya,
Goddess, I just love your comments!
He is actually as wonderful as I said, I really don't blame you at all :) He is a gentleman, albeit a naughty one.......
I am glad that you enjoyed this, now please darling, if you have some of this lovely stuff would you mind sending me a wee sample so that I can end this horrid state of affairs ;) It is so very sexy....just right in my book.
Seriously, thanks for the wonderful compliment and enjoy your shower!

8:09 AM EDT  
Anonymous Silvia said...

Ahhhh...you two sound like a great match.
I tried Royal English Leather a couple of weeks ago and -much to my surprise- I absolutely loved it. Less angular than Knize 10, just perfect. Will definitely revisit it in the Autumn.

8:13 AM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i like this one very much, too. though i'm still looking for a man like your husband! he sounds wonderful - i think you got the real-life mcdreamy!

if i'm not mistaken, jasmine imperatrice eugenie has the same vibe, only for us ladies. when i smelled the REL, i thought, oh, JIE for men. it's been a while, but i think that's the one that made me flash on JIE.

happy husband sniffing!

- minette

8:35 AM EDT  
Blogger Beth Gehring said...

Silvia,

Perfect is a really apt description! I really can't wait to smell this one in the autumn surrounded by all of those crispy leaves and bonfires. It should add an entirely different dimension to my already scandalous thoughts:) I'm glad that you know REL and love it too. It's too wonderful not to share!

8:51 AM EDT  
Blogger chayaruchama said...

Well, dear enabler-

I JUST purchased a bottle [from'99 perfume.com'- add CARD10, for a 10% discount]...
So, when it comes, I'll send you some [send me your info].

[I'm NOT affiliated w/ these folks- but so far, I've transacted several times, and they are pretty speedy with delivery- also, the price was less than any other site that carried it, even w/ shipping]

Never let it be said, that I'm a grasping type, LOL.
What's mine, is yours...

I love evocative writing.
It enriches our lives, don't you think ?

[Waves to Minette]

8:52 AM EDT  
Blogger Beth Gehring said...

Minette,
Thank you....my husband IS wonderful and depending on your age I do have a very handsome son with very much the same sensibilities as his dad, just a bit more urban! I've not tried the JIE but it sounds like something I would adore! I think that will have to be next as there is NO way i can get my hands on his bottle of REL.....He's having way too much fun with that one!

8:55 AM EDT  
Blogger Ducks said...

Ohhhh Beth, what a WONDERFUL review -- now you know I MUST sniff. You had me giggling and fanning myself all at once.

Your hubby sounds like a perfect match for you, I agree: in Spanish the phrase is "media naranja" because they are the other half of the orange that is you. :)

10:16 AM EDT  
Anonymous Suzanne said...

Beth, I think I've said this before, but I just love your writing and the way you wear your passionate, overflowing, lusty heart on your sleeve!

Creed Royal English Leather is now on my to-try list, thanks to your review.

10:23 AM EDT  
Anonymous sweetlife said...

*giggle giggle*


Could there finally be a Cr**d for me to love? It's possible. But really, Beth I'd rather just borrow the inside of your head for a day... :-)

11:00 AM EDT  
Blogger tmp00 said...

The only way that you can redeem yourself from forcing me to run out and buy a Creed unsniffed is to tell me that your husband has a gay, unattached twin that I would be perfect for. ;-)

11:27 AM EDT  
Blogger elle said...

What a fantastic read! Rare to find a simultaneously romantic and laugh out loud hilarious post. Loved it! :-) And how nice to hear about such excellent marriage karma.
I'm not sure I've tried REL. Sounds like I'd remember it if I had. *Must* remedy that asap.

12:22 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh, beth, bless you. i wish i were closer to your son's age, OR a cougar. alas, i am neither.

i'll just have to keep my eyes peeled for a great guy in a kilt. (i love men in kilts!)

waving back to CHAYA, my evocative beauty! MWAH!

- minette

3:03 PM EDT  
Blogger chayaruchama said...

MEN IN KILTS ?????!!!!!

Don't get me started....
Too late !
[Alan Cumming, Ian McKellar...!Sigh.]

Come to Southie for St. Paddy's Day !
I always pretend to faint dead away- it's SO nice to peek up their skirts.

3:09 PM EDT  
Blogger Flora said...

Beth - OH MY GAWD! Echoing Chaya, better keep him away from me too - and unlike her I am not a married woman... ;-)

I really must try this soonest - anything that smells of the "Sweat of a magnificent horse" is for me, as that is probably favorite aroma in all the world, eclipsing even the finest flower. Now all I need is the handsome, rugged Highland man to....whew, what was I saying again?

Oh, I did go to a Highland games once and it was very entertaining - especially the caber tosser who wore an electric blue satin bikini under his kilt. I was QUITE entertained in fact. :-D

Gorgeous writing, Beth!

6:15 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"...quiet and powerful in the bedroom...uh, I mean boardroom, huh? My mind went elsewhere in the first paragraph! You know, he feels just as passionately about you, and always has.
I've got to check this one out. I neglected to "snort" your husband when I had the chance.

6:52 PM EDT  
OpenID quinncreative said...

Woosh! A real bodice-buster of a review. If the perfume is half as good, it's worth it!

8:58 PM EDT  
Blogger Beth Gehring said...

To everyone!!!!
Thank you so much! I had wanted so much to respond to all of you individually but I am sitting in the emergency room at 1:30 in the morning with my 89 year old father and I have been here for hours. My darling husband just brought me my laptop , sanity is restored:)

Let it suffice to say that I am so thrilled that all of you loved my review and that so many of you wish to run off with my husband. That is the best kind of flattery:)

Please know that I am grateful for all of you, and just reading your words to me has helped make a very long and upsetting evening much much better.

Hugs and Much Love,

Beth

1:48 AM EDT  
Anonymous Wordbird said...

I wear REL and adore it. It is absolutely correct - almost the definitive leather imho.

And I absolutely agree with the "Men in Kilts" thing - a kilt and a husky wool sweater, thick socks and hiking boots is an ensemble to take the breath away. Have you ever seen a British tv series called Hamish MacBeth? Robert Carlyle starred in it. Mucho kilt-wearing. Yumsters!

5:58 AM EDT  
Anonymous Wordbird said...

Oh my word Beth! I'm sorry - I hadn't read your comment before I posted. I hope your Father is OK.

6:10 AM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just a tiny correction (sorry, a historian thing):
George III (Charles III is yet to be crowned) and thus perhaps more Georgian than Jacobean. It's my favorite leather as well.

10:24 AM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What the hell is wrong with the reviewer? Orgasmic swoon? And your fantasy? Wtf. You have problems...

10:09 PM EDT  

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