The Colours Out of Space: Pentachords by Tauer Perfumes

by Marla (or is it??) H. P. Lovecraft wrote his personal favorite sci-fi short story, “The Colour Out of Space” in 1927. It’s about an alien (perhaps) who arrives in a meteor (maybe) and proceeds to destroy the countryside around its landing site by dint of a peculiar “colour”, an analogy for some sort of energy that does not exist on Earth. Now this story is a horror story, but if we can imagine Colours Out of Space that don’t feed on our life energy and destroy us, but merely change us in an olfactory manner, leaving us neither better nor worse, only different, then Tauer’s Pentachords could come directly from that meteorite. The original and frighteningly talented Mr. Tauer wanted to make wholly synthetic odors of 5 aromamolecules each. No naturals could be used, because each natural component is composed of many different aromachemicals. He was looking for some sort of alien purity, obviously. Maybe, down in his cold, stone laboratory deep in the Alps, he still is…. From benign to terrifying, I’ll rank my mini-reviews: The Fluffy Cloud Alien: White freaked me out briefly at first with its synthetic blast of some substance I can’t quite name. Within 90 seconds, it had settled on my skin to become the Best Marshmallow Ever. But it’s a very big, scary marshmallow. Remember Mr. Stay-Puft from “Ghostbusters”? Big marshmallow. I really love White, though, and I’m considering a bottle of it. Some days it’s just a lovely Ms. Stay-Puft with a mere hint of malice in those enormously sweet, comfy eyes…. The Burning Crater in the Orchard: Auburn sometimes pleases and sometimes alarms me. It’s fiery, but not an earthly fire. It’s something made by Some Thing that burnt up in our atmosphere. The remnants land on your skin, and your skin starts to change. It’s hot, that’s for sure…. The Ancient One: Verdant just freaks me out. It’s the most Lovecraftian of the trio, and I’ve worn it a few times, but I’m afraid if I keep wearing it, I will also begin to glow in that Colour Out of Space. Or start chanting for Cthulhu to return. Sure, it’s green, I guess that’s the best analogy. Just be warned before you try it on, it doesn’t leave your brain. Even if you hate it (and I don’t), you won’t forget it, and you’ll start wondering exactly what’s in that vial, and if it’s really gone…. So I’m hoping that Mr. Tauer tries a few more colors for the Pentachords collection, but not until next Halloween, please. These 3 are making my skin glow just fine.