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Sunday, May 12, 2013

Foodie Sunday ~ Happy Mothers Day!

By Beth  

Late last night on Facebook, I posted a picture of my mother at age 17. This is a picture of the two of us in Arizona;  actually it's the last photo that was taken of us together. She was an absolutely gorgeous and glamorous woman even until her death four years ago. I never once saw her without her lipstick, jewelry or perfume.  One of my friends who knew her well and worked with her through many an election left the comment, " She was so beautiful and I was honored to know her. I so admired her fierceness". 

Mom was fierce. I do have the great fortune of looking just like her, but more importantly , I know that we all inherited our deep passion for justice and activism from her. I never once saw her back down from a fight even her own at the end. She was passionate and she felt EVERYTHING deeply. She was a true Leo and nobody messed with her children . 

I was left handed and when the teachers tried to switch me in third grade, she promptly barged into the principals office with left handed scissors and a lecture. From that day on until I had graduated from 5th grade my mother bought all of the left handed desks and scissors for that school and she did it until the school district began to right what she considered to be a grievous wrong for everyone, not just her own daughter.   

When I was recovering from an abortion that I'd had at age 18 that I hadn't told her about , she came barging into my room and asked me why I hadn't trusted her. You see, she'd dreamt about it (which she was often inclined to do , a talent which my own son will tell you that I inherited!) and knew instantly what was wrong. After crying in my bedroom for about ten of the most tortuous minutes of my life, she left and came back with a bed tray of breakfast and didn't leave my side for several days. 

When my sister tragically lost a baby so many years ago at birth due to the overwhelming stupidity of her doctors,  my mother dropped what she was doing immediately (running a huge charity gala) and left for San Diego immediately. She felt that loss almost as deeply as my sister and probably because of my mothers great strength in the face of such an overwhelming loss  Ellen was able to face what had happened and begin to rebuild herself, her body and her life. About three years later she and Peter gave birth to my fabulous nephew. My mother gave of herself to others like that fairly constantly, but she fortunately never had to endure the loss of one of her own children. 

The first thing that I read this morning upon waking was an open letter from the mothers of Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown. They wake up every morning knowing that because of one of the most powerful lobbies in the world that we cannot even get the simplest protections that we need.  They said many things, but the most overwhelming thing that they said was to ask that for one moment we stopped saying that we could not imagine how they felt. "Imagine how we feel" they said and for a brief moment that I could barely  tolerate   I did. There have been 4000 gun related deaths since Newtown. Unbelievable that we are impotent in the face of such unspeakable tragedy.   As for my mother? She would have already been in Washington. So this morning I ask all of you to remember on this Mothers Day that there are far too many in this country who are waking up and reliving over and over again the shattering agony of the moment that they found out that their child or loved one had been gunned down senselessly. That there are no amount of hugs that can take that pain away. No matter where you stand on the issue of gun control (and surprisingly to many I love to shoot) , please make yourself imagine exactly what it would feel like to wake up this morning without your child or your best friend or your sister, brother or spouse. Then sign this petition. 

I  am blessed to be having a wonderful Mothers Day. My son is sleeping soundly upstairs and my husband has gone off to get me a rare (these days because I quit!) cup of coffee as I type this. We're going out to brunch and then the three of us are going for a long walk with the puppies. I can't forget  the words that I read this morning that haunt me…."Imagine, really imagine how we feel." So I write this in my mothers honor and my mother- in - law who has been one of my closest friends, my sister and my sister-in- laws and in the honor of all of those Sandy Hook mothers who are waking up this morning with that  ever present loss. I write this for any mother who has had to endure a missing child and here in Cleveland we are grateful even as the horror still unfolds that three of our own have been returned to us  safely. There are 121 more who have not yet returned. 

 I write this for all of my gay friends who are creating amazing families and all for of the single parents like one of my sister in law's who against all odds raised three pretty incredible children. 

I realize of course that this is a perfume blog and fortunately our Marina who is a mother herself, very wise and extraordinarily generous gives us pretty free rein. So my request of you? The next time that you are seized with the impulse to buy a new bottle or sample or such..why don't you donate the money instead if you are so moved to The Sandy Hook Mothers  Promise or any other cause of your choice?  Take action in your honor or in your mothers honor. If not gun control, climate change, animal rights…whatever you are so moved to and please let me know about it.

I love you all and am sending HUGE HUGS….Happy Mothers Day! Today I'm wearing Shalimar in honor of my own mother...what are you wearing today?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am wearing Nina Ricci l'air du temps an old time favorite. Beth your article really got to me.

4:25 PM EDT  
Blogger xxdfarre said...

What a lovely piece, Beth.

8:51 PM EDT  
Blogger Unknown said...

My own mother told me that her teachers stopped her from being left-handed. She still writes with her right hand, as she was taught, but she cooks and does everything else with her left.

Amazing piece.

8:29 PM EDT  
Blogger Tammy said...

When I was 13 years old and alone at home 67 miles from the nearest police station, I shot two escaped convicts on the front porch of our home. In 1993, I shot an intruder who broke into my home in Lynwood CA; the man had gone on a spree of rape and robbery and had raped my 83 year old neighbor over the course of the prior weekend.

I now live in a rural area with four law enforcement officers on the day shift. The soonest police response I can hope for is 30 nminutes, if they happen to be on my side of the county. On the other hand, I am three minutes away from known meth cookers who broke into our home two years ago on NYE.

Very few people who legally own a gun are murderers and most of us have them for damn good reasons.

6:08 PM EDT  

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