In Which I Am Being a Positive Thinker... Plus a Prize Draw
 My mission impossible for today: to test ten fragrances I have been reluctant to smell for a while and to find something positive to say about each of them.Coach by Coach. It has guava, but it does not have litchi. It is fruity, but it is also strongly floral. In fact, after a short time of obligatory juvenile sweetness, it becomes an airy white floral. I would go as far as to say that I’d wear it. If I had to. Desperate Housewives Forbidden Fruit. Actually not that fruity. Like Coach, it is surprisingly floral, with a somewhat lilac-like accord. I could just about imagine wearing it. If I really, really had to. L by Gwen Stefani. I love the TV ad. I like the bottle. I admire the way the scent fits the adultescent image of Stefani. If I were a fan of Goutal’s Petite Cherie, I would have been ecstatic to find a fragrance that smells just like it. M by Mariah Carey. Smells like fluffernutters. Is therefore rather comforting. Does not have litchi. Gucci by Gucci. Is not another Envy Me follow-up. I like the 1970s glam feel of the bottle and the ads. If I hated chypres, I would have been relieved to discover that Gucci is not one of them. Delicious Night by Donna Karan. Does not smell like Be Delicious. Roxy by Roxy. If I were 14, I would have loved this. It makes me grateful I am not 14. Nina by Nina Ricci. Ditto. Betsey Johnson by Betsey Johnson. Tritto. Eau de Star by Thierry Mugler. An aquatic accord will make Angel ever so more bearable to smell in a crowded train at 8 in the morning. Besides, as far as I can tell, it does not have litchi. Your mission impossible for today: find a sample you were afraid to test, smell it and say something positive about it, in your comment. If you would like to be entered into a sample prize draw for a scent that is in no way like the ten fragrances in this post, say so in your comment. The scent is Andy Tauer's new offering, Incense Extreme. The names of three winners will be randomly drawn and announced on Monday. Pollyanna still is from ultimatedisney.com. |
posted by Marina |
12:03 AM
88 Comments:
K. I'll bite.
I have a sample of Kenneth Cole New York Mens that's still pristine in it's heat-sealed wrap from a trip to Sephora about 1400 years ago. I thought it was going to be a blah, vaguely industrial "clean sheets" aquatic that would send my stomach flipping and my to the bathroom for the nail brush and dishwashing liquid.
There may be some Litchi in there.
Oh wait, I'm supposed to say something nice about it.
It has the lasting power of a fruit fly.
You made me laugh out loud about five times with this post; I am glad I read it at home and not at work!
LMAO! What a delightful, brilliant series of backhanded compliments! I think that if forced (at gunpoint? at nozzle point?) to say nice things about some less than fortunate scent I may from now on just smile sweetly and comment on how it doesn't have litchi (or, for me, freesia).
Don't think I actually have any samples in the house that I'm afraid to test. I tend to discard those - some white musk scent (*hate* that note) was the most recent one to become acquainted w/ my trash can. The only ones I'm truly afraid to try are the ones w/ $350+ price tags that I'm concerned I'll fall in love w/.
Tom,
5 times? Waahoo!! :-)
I have KC NY Womens sample in the same package, still unopened, probably gone bad, since it has been sitting in the Hopeless Samples Pile for 2800 years at least.
L,
Freesia too. Oh yes, freesia and I have never been on speaking terms. In fact, we are barely civil to each other when we happen to meet :-)
However, those $350 scents are the scariest of all, you are so right.
marina, 2800 years? by my calculations of the radioactive decay and half-life of KC NY, i believe that, by now, your sample should've devolved into aquolina blue sugar. place sample carefully in hazmat drum and seal tightly. :-)
also, i would like to second the LMAO!
-- erin k.
Erin,
Thank you for the warning. I can't risk touching THAT now. Will have to take the whole Hopeless Box out to desert and blow it up. If that leads to the end of the world, then, as my daughter would say, oopsies! :-)
I went to a birthday party at Bond No.9's downtown location a year and a half ago and came away with a small bag filled with their perfume samples. I wasn't really afraid of any of them (rather the opposite in fact), but I fell in love with the Park Avenue scent and somehow forgot about the other ones until when I recently cleaned out my drawers. My newest favorite is Nuits de Noho. I don't really know enough about perfumes yet to distinguish the notes, but I think there is definitely some vanilla and patchouli.
Oh and please put me in the prize drawing!
Say something nice about something I have been afraid to try? Let's see.
Let me try Bois de Aoud by Montale. The reason I haven't tried it is because I was afraid I would love it and have to have a bottle. However, fear is the mind killer...I will let my fear pass through me. Actually no need to fear with this one.
Wait...something nice.
I was able to get the top off of the sample without spilling any on my fingers! Wow, that was easy!
Well (apologies in advance, M., I know you love this one) I just did a full-on spritz test of Tom Ford Voile de Fleur. I was afraid of WHITE FLORALS SHOUTING AT ME(I prefer them to wrap their arms lovingly around me without holding on too tight)and of the famed, er, eau de crevasse, from Black Orchid.
And?
Well I really like the opening. No, really! That's why I got the sample in the first place... It smelled terrific on the card. And I but smells great on Marina!
Urgh. I "bet" it smells great on Marina. Couldn't get my mind out of the crevasse.
Brava! Absolutely brilliant. I am going to force my friends, who refuse to do anything more than pretend to listen when I go on and on about perfume, to read your post. Perfect.
OK, I tried Montale's Soleil di Capri and it didn't have any horrid aoud. If I lost my sense of smell (NEVER!) I would maybe wear this if there was nothing else. Maybe. Perhaps.
Take it out to the desert and blow it up? Isn't that the start of every bad horror movie from 20 years ago?
"Attack of the 50 Foot Skank"
"The Pong That Ate the World"
"Hell Smell"
"Stinkula"
hey, i think i saw "hell smell II," wasn't that the one where the main character got a drop of horrid perfume on his left arm, which then developed a mind of its own, picked up a butcher knife and tried to kill him? :-)
i can't really play the sample game yet, but i do have a free sample of the betsey johnson stuff coming in the mail, and i am rather frightened - does this mean i'm eligible for the drawing (pretty please)?
-- erin k.
O, seconds on the LOL! I lost count ...
It's bedtime where I am, so I am going to cheat a little and talk about things that I was afraid to try a while ago ... a little bundle of samples a sweet Nordstrom SA gave me with the assurance that my daughters and I would love them equally. Now if I could just remember what they were ... ah, yes, Ferragamo Incanto Shine. Um, I can't recall if there's any litchi, but my only a bit more than 14-year-old (well, she's a very young 18, actually) likes it!
There's some hope for her, though. She also likes Burberry London. Not my cup of tea, but better than, well, things that I'd have to work harder to find nice things to say about. (no litchi, anyone?)
Marvellous, marvellous post!
And may I be entered in the draw, please??
oh, must share -- do you suppose that what you really want to say about these fragrances is my word verification word? It's eudud!
Caron Acaciosa. I love Caron... but jasmine nakes my stomache curdle and white florals make the hairs stand up on the back of my neck and LOTV screeches. So my little bottle of Acaciosa has been sitting avoided, knowing i should but....Now you have inticed me to take my courage in both hands (or wrist, two hands worth being more than I could contemplate) and....
hmmm, it doesn't screech. And no litchi with the pineapple.
Shi McGregor,
The are some - to me - terrifying things there. New York Fling, for instance.
You are in the draw.
Kelley,
Yours is the best one yet. :-)
Judith very kindly sent me a sample Bois de Aoud months ago, and I still haven't tried it on my skin. It smells...well, I won't say anything as we are saying positive things today. But Judith loves it, so I will gather my courage and try it one day :-)
I've been reading your fabulous blog for quite a while now - it's wonderful, compliments and thanks for sharing your experiences with us!
Today I finally have to comment, opening a sample of "Escada Sunset Heat".
Positive thinking, here I go:
It's not aquatic, there's no pink pepper in it doesn't cause headaches. At the age of 12 I would probably have liked it and today I wouldn't mind having a dessert or a soft drink with the taste of Sunset Heat.
Yeah, I made it!
A,
LOL. Eau de Crevasse!
I shuddered at the thought of 'Frangipani'-dreading an overly unctuous, syrupy mess of white slop- [totally unwearable]
But I love Serena, so I blind-bought from etsy....
I needn't have fretted.
Creamy, gorgeous, ambery drydown.
May I play with you all ?
Bryan,
So you are not aoud fan then? :-)
Soleil is a tricky one for me. Sometimes it is lovely, sometimes nasty on my skin.
Tom,
I always had a secret wish to star in one of those. As The One Who Unleashed The Forces of Eveil. Or as a Force of Evil. I am not fussy.
Erin,
You are in!
Jennifer,
It's all total eudud :-)
You are in the draw!
Amarie,
I like acaciosa a lot. It tends to get syrupy on me, but it doesn't screech :-)
Livia,
Welcome and bravo! :-)
And I see you are a fellow pink-pepper-hater, so double welcome! :-)
Ida,
Come and play!
Is this Ava Luxe Frangipani?
Oh, yeah.
Want some ?
Ha Ha, what a fabulous review Marina.....I must have known what was up here because last night on a mindless walk through Macy's I sprayed on a bit of Paloma Picasso, a scent that I have avoided forever given that I have known her (she is family by marriage) It is described as an "Olfactive self portrait" that only a "woman would know how to wear" , this by Paloma herself. Well, I don't know what possessed me to do it, but it was there so I sprayed it. Turns out, upon further inspection that it's full of everything that I love, Coriander, Angelica, Cloves, Oakmoss, Civet, Hyacinth and much more....Turns out, upon even more inspection that it really does smell like a wonderfully classic French fragrance, artistic and complex and although I can hardly use this word about this perfume without laughing..... Sexy. Just goes to show you how absolutely wrong I can be:)
I'd love to be entered in the drawing if you think that my spraying it on in a store qualifies?
so i've let greed overtake common sense...i want that tauer!! and have bravely applied a sample i've been fearing for months now...montale oude lime.
years and years ago i drank too much gin. with lime and tonic. the next day i could smell the gin when i exhaled. not really a banner day for me.
i feel like that now. with lime.
so....this fragrance conjures up memories of a time long ago.
and the packaging of the sample is lovely.
can i be in the contest?
i need some alka seltzer.
I had a sample of Pink Sugar I never tried, though I've smelled it on others. It doesn't have litchi. It's sweet and last a while on me. That is all.
Brilliant post and wonderful comments!
I went looking in my drawer, and found some scents from an etailer, AromaSanctum, with prices on the back of the cards. I have no idea how I got these. I would think someone sent them, but the prices on the back suggest that I ordered them on someone's recommendation. OK, I will pick the most expensive one, Fire of Isis, $30 for .25 oz. Looking on the web (I'm a big cheater), I find the following description:
"recalls the magnificent rituals of ancient Egypt, with burnt offerings of frankincense, myrrh and spices." Sounds good, actually, so let's give it a try.
Hmmmm. . . does not smell burnt. That COULD be a good thing, but I LIKE burnt. Pretty bland, actually. OK, a good thing. . . um, I could wear this and not be bothered by it (I would hardly even notice it, in fact)
On Bois de Aoud--I guess I don't really love it, b/c I haven't worn it recently (of course, that's true of many scents), but I do like it. Nancy liked it, too--so there!:)
Tokyo by Kenzo - great bottle and lovely advert.
I dug out the sample of Juicy Couture that I've been avoiding testing because I didn't want to drench myself in candy. But I have to say, it was not as sweet and insipid as a lot of fruity florals. And although it apparently has notes of watermelon, mandarin, pink passionfruit, green apple, etc., there was no litchi to be found.
Whew. Please enter me in the drawing!
Ok, after wearing this some more I feel that I have been unfair to the AromaSanctum people. I CAN notice it---and it's pleasant.
I Love Love by Moschino. Is it the fear of the bright orange sample cap (Chrysophobia: Fear of the Color Orange)? Or the smarmy name?
But I did try it, right before my shower. A powdery grapefruit that isn't as bad as it's name. Might work in the summer. Or not as it has almost disappeared on me already.
Tauer sounds much nicer though. Please enter me in the drawing.
LOL! Not sure you accomplished your mission, but thanks for the laughs. Great post. It is a sad commentary that "does not have litchi" is a mark of distinction!
You guys are more entertaining than Comedy Central!! I just opened a GWP of Pink Jasmine by Fresh..it's like getting smacked in the face with citric acid BUT it doesn't have LOTV.
I tried out Hermes' "Un Jardin En Mediterranee" (which I have not tried before because it is marketed as a unisex and I'm not a fan of unisex fragrances)
I've never been in a Mediterranean garden, so I don't know if it lives up to it's name or not, but I can tell you that it smells like "A woods in Iowa" I have many fond memories of traipsing through the Iowa wilderness (we do have some wilderness in Iowa) in search of morel mushrooms. In my mushroom hunting memories, I remember the scents of the cedar trees and lilacs and wildflowers and moss and topsoil and damp caverns, and this is exactly what Un Jardin in Mediterranee smells like to me. I have fragrances I like to wear to work, or to bars, or to the gym...now I have a fragrance suited for mushroom hunting in Iowa. Thank you, Hermes.
Can I be in the contest please?
I love it when you go all snarky. And "tritto" is my new favorite word.
My scent: Clean Ultimate. My review: Since I have a cold I only almost smell that it seems to have a distinct fabric softener note & that I remind myself of clean laundry. Which is better than dirty laundry. And again, that I only almost smell it.
And now, I'm off to shower just in case my sense of smell unexpectedly suddenly returns. Ta. Oh yes, and put me in for the draw :)
I just finished sampling MPG's Jardin du Nil, from a 2.5ml sample I think came with an order from aedes late 2006. Every test I've made of this scent has produced the same out of the bottle reaction. Fresh steaming cow manure. I'm not the only one who has noticed this, several Basenoters agree with me. If I win this contest (and I haven't to date since I never enter) I hope the fragrance doesn't smell like MPG's Jardin du Nil.
Marina, that was priceless. Unfortunately I haven't been bold enough to try anything that I was/am afraid of. But now that the gauntlet has been thrown down... please enter me in the draw.
-Existentialist
The fragrance I will take my chance with today will be Aquolina Blue Sugar and it smells like burnt cotton candy but it may be appealing to someones 8 yr old yearning to go to the carnival.
PS: please enter me in the drawing
I tried Agent Provocateur Eau De Parfum today. I've put off trying this because I AM afraid I'll like it-- and I'm put off by that big bum picture covering the sample card. It's a weird bum. I don't care about bums, but it just seems crass. I'm a little annoyed by the lack of subtlety: "Sex Sells and we are going to take advantage of that right now! With this perfume. 'Cause sex sells you know! In case you didn't."
But it's like an acquired taste. If the juice is really good, those little line drawings are going to start to look appealing to me...
I needn't have worried so much. I was intrigued by a 'floral chypre' and the opening notes said "kapow, I'm a floral chypre alrighty!" But they didn't appeal to me as much as I expected.
Something nice... the middle notes were soapy, then hay, then soap and hay. I normally do not like fragrances that dry down to soap or hay, but these seemed like oddly light, pleasant, transparent layers of both. In a different fragrance those notes could teach me to like soap and hay.
I'd appreciate being in the prize drawing!
HAHAHA what a great post!
I SHOULD fear nothing, my occasional Paris Hilton slams notwithstanding, since I once went into the Belly of the Beast by testing a $4.99 drugstore dupe of my Nemesis, Dolce & Gabbana Light Blue - and LIVED. Nothing else comes close to the sheer horror of that experience.
However, in the interest of science (& a sample drawing, if you please) I tried the new Gwen Stafani L.A.M.B. just to see what happened. Well, not much. It's sweet and kind of misty, if you know what I mean, but it becomes ordinary very soon afer the opening. I was expecting more from that one since she has more control over more products with her name on them than most celebs, but it's not bad. I can say something good about it though - I love the ads and packaging. The bottle makes it look like it is something pretty special, & spendy. Lots of better 'fumes come in cheaper-looking bottles. Hers looks like it was designed by Burke's Peerage.
Feel the pain of my misfortune as I sample a mailer of Covet. Peeling back the slick plastic blister, I expose the luxurious cotton/synthetic of the sickly white fragrance pad. Applying it gingerly, and as sparingly as possible, with something of the regard one might have for removing a scorpion or some such from ones wrist, I bring my nose to within a few inches of my sullied skin.
It's... green smelling. Something like the Jean Nate' splash my mother kept unused on the toilet cistern between 1969 and 1973 that I couldn't help but smell, asking myself, "does she really use this"? It's sort of medicinal too... and there is something of the lime flavor that cheap lollipops have.
Minutes later, I've washed my hand 3 times, but can't seem to get it off. Good sillage, if you want to inflict it.
Okay, fine. I trotted upstairs to dig up ... Karl Lagerfeld's Sun, Moon, Stars! About which I will say:
um. (grasping at straws)
... the atomizer works really well?
Sorry, I'm tapped out.
PS Okay, I just went and reread these, and Divalino gets my vote for making me choke on my tea. "Better than dirty laundry" -- now THERE's the sort of endorsement fragrance houses dream of.
Blue Sugar has two good qualities: 1) It kills any craving for a snack. 2) It washes off pretty easily.
I prefer Andy Tauer; I'd like to be in drawing.
Cornlily
Ida,
Thank you so much. Sadly, I am not a fan of frangipani, anyone's frangipani.
Beth,
I am very star-struck right now! :-)
Stellaglo,
If Aoud Lime made you feel like then learn on my mistake and don't ever try Aromatic Limes :-)
You are in the draw.
Maitreyi1978,
Bravo, it's not easy to find something positive to say about that one :-)
Judith,
Wow, those are expensive samples!
Lee,
Well, what more could a perfume lover want, right?
Court,
Green Apples are almost as bad as litchis, for me :-)
You are in the draw!
Judith,
I have to google that AromaSanctum.
Janet,
I suffer from Porphyrophobia- Fear of the color purple :-)
You are in the draw!
Robin,
It is a sad, sad commentary indeed :-)
Joan,
Thank you :-)
I do agree about that one.
Emilene,
You made me go spritz this on. Jardin is my tonight's scent. :-)
Divalano,
It is better than dirty laundry. You do know the scent that is worse than dirty laundry, right?
Gary,
I've read a whole lot of , um, fun things about Jardin du Nil. I am afraid to try it :-)
Existentialist,
You are in the draw. I understand the fear, totally :-)
GKnight,
Tom loves this one. Dontcha, Tom? :-)
You are in the draw.
SaraDCole,
Great review! The original AP has never been nice to me. It smells sour on my skin :-(
Flora,
Nothing else comes close to the sheer horror of that experience, you say...hmm...there are a couple of scents out there that would make you beg to wear that dupe instead. yes, there are.
Scott,
I love the way you write!
March,
Good one! Sadly that would be the only good thing I too could say about that modern classic.
Cornlily,
You are brave to try that one. I still haven't.
You are in the draw!
marina, i'm almost afraid to ask, but i have to know ...
what scent is worse than dirty laundry?
-- erin k.
p.s. unless you mean SM!
--erin k. again
Great post and sense of humor. I guess you HAVE to have a sense of humor when reviewing those scents!
Hmmm...I tried Britney Spears Believe. Too sweet and fruity. I didn't find it more grown up than the previous scents she put out. I didn't like it as much as Fantasy, which I don't really like, but it doesn't make me scrub. Believe does come in a pretty bottle. I like the name.
Another one that a SA sprayed on me before I could run was Pure Poison. I couldn't leave this one on long enough to really test it, but it was very sweet. Cloying. It did manage to stick around for hours even after scrubbing, so the lasting power is quite good!
I would LOVE to try AT's Incense extreme! Please enter me in the drawing.
Oh, the $30 wasn't for the sample; it was if you wanted to buy 1/4 oz. Still very expensive.
OK, one more time. This is the third time I've typed this in, only to be told to go to wordpress and sign in first. When I do, my comment disappears. But I still want to be in the drawing.
I tried on 10 Corso Como although someone had told me about the musk. Musk and I are not friends. On me it is not alluring, it turns into the sweat of a thousand stevedores kept in moldy kegs for a thousand years. Whatever else there is in 10 Corso Como, it is run over by Musk driving a steamroller. I wish it DID have litchi in it. AND oud. And graprefuit, loud white flowers, particularly blend of jasmine and gardenia, ozonic ocean accords and a thousand other nightmares to spare me from that unirradicable musk. But I'm sure it smells great on Mr. Como.
Erin,
That's exactly what I mean :-)
Renee,
I have tried Believe. Pure Poison was OK on me. It's the Hypnotic one that is unbelievably awful on my unfortunate skin.
You are in the draw.
Judith,
Yeah, still expensive. I WILL google that company :-)
Dear Anonymous,
I am sorry you had trouble posting a comment! You are in the draw.
As for Como, no musk on me in there, but that is probably because I don't mind musk. If I did, it would probably be one big fat blob of musk on my skin.
This is fun! I have a bunch of samples I haven't even looked at... which to choose? Versace Eau Fraiche... Let's see...
Oh God, this is not a fair game... ok, something nice... well obviously it smells GOOD to some degree, a little lemony, a little grassy? I mean, I haven't met many fragrances that actually smell BAD... Oh, and I needed to wash my hands anyway, so this aided in the inspiration to accomplish THAT task :)
I'd love to be entered in the drawing :)
-Anthony
My test was DKNY Delicious Night. It would have lasted a long time. It's probably cheap.
Nuf said...
Please enter me in the draw. Thanks!
Michael Kors Hawaii...hm...the name reminds of a great vacation I went on several years ago. It doesn't smell like cilantro. It does smell like I poured a bottle of floral soap all over myself in the shower and didn't rinse a drop off of it, so I don't smell like B.O. I'm awfully certain that the scent longevity would wear out even the Energizer Bunny.
A random grab off of one of my teenage son’s dressers, resulted in my trying Guess “Man” & an Abercrombie cologne (didn't have a name on it, squat, square bottle): Guess ad copy says “Masculine, bold, sexy and simply intoxicating. Inspired by the GUESS Man lifestyle, this fragrance is fresh, clean and sensual. Attitude like never before in a bottle.” Positive comment: They do have the teenage boy market pegged re: bottled attitude! It was light, and faded quickly, overpowered by the Abercrombie cologne I sampled at the same time. (Ugh, vetiver-based and boring.) Sorry for no more details, I washed them both off fairly quickly.
I'd be thrilled to win a sample of Incense Extreme, sounds intriguing...
Anthony,
You haven't met a fragrance that smells bad? Lucky you!! :-)
You are in the draw.
Cathy,
Nuf said indeed. :-)
You are in!
vicuna1,
that is a great way to say positive things whilst scaring me for life from ever trying MK Hawaii :-)
GGS,
I love this part of the copy: "Inspired by the GUESS Man lifestyle, this fragrance is fresh, clean and sensual". Oh, the clean sensuality, the dream of every politically correct person in the world :-)
You are in the draw!
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