From the Mouths of Husbands - Marina's Impossible

"Good morning Mr. Colombina. Your mission ... should you choose to accept it ... is to sneak into Colombina's private scented world ... to uncover and deliver top secret information that her readers don't know about her and her perfumes... and might even be surprised to find out. The free (smelling) world depends on you and your team to expose the essence that is ... PST. Colombina ... AKA Marina ... heads an international network of fragrance worshipers who will stop at nothing to partake in the pleasures of scents. So be careful! This blog will self destruct in five seconds." So there I was ... just hanging around ... minding my own business ... when duty called. I had been enjoying a well deserved rest, when I was reminded that it had been ages since I did a guest post. When I say "reminded" I mean nagged as only Colombina can. She becomes 'Marina Impossible.' The first thing I had to do was assemble the IMF team. I needed a team with the skills and daring to infiltrate Colombina's world ... I needed a team that already had the inside connections and insights to blow the lid off this case. But who? Who could I trust? And perhaps most crucially, I needed to get Colombina out of the house for a few hours so we could snoop around through her things. And hey, if we stumbled upon a Christmas present or two ...well that would be considered acceptable collateral damage. After much brainstorming (a few beers) ... I realized I needed just one team member .... Little Miss Colombina ...AKA 'Agent Swiper.' Her dossier reads like a Tom Clancy novel. Former KGB operative ... former MI6 infiltrator, able to get into small spaces ... daring, sly, crafty and manipulative with a 'nose' for trouble... and if need be she could cry that her shoes are too tight ...forcing Colombina to vacate the house to the nearest shoe emporium for a few needed hours. We would be searching for anything incriminating ... a bottle of White Diamonds perhaps ... better yet ... a secret stash of Giorgio! We carefully entered the realm of PST ... Marina's world. And here's what we can report. The desk where she types this wonderful blog is itself, a tiny perfume counter ...covered with bottles, boxes and these tiny little sample vials that could easily be mistaken for some sort of contraband. I know how everyone (every woman anyway) was annoyed when airlines started preventing you from bringing any liquids in your carry-on ... even perfume. But if you saw these vials, you'd think she was definitely up to something sinister! Equally fighting for desktop space are her cosmetics, on what once was my desk ...then our desk and now ...I give up ...there's not even room for a single sports magazine! Now I am not just saying this (to get my desk back) but I complained to Colombina once about perhaps putting her cosmetics elsewhere since she doesn't even use them. She informed me that she DOES use them which only further backs my position that if she uses them and I don't notice the difference ...then (being such a 'natural' beauty) she does not need them. I lost that argument (as usual). Mr. Colombina attempts to type this guest post And also on HER desk ... no trashy mags ... no Cosmo ...no People ...no National Enquirer ... just these outrageously large magazines ...thicker than a Sears catalogue. Each of these has about 8 pages of articles and 3,000 pages of ads. Moving into her bedroom. Yes hers! I am more like a lodger there. I can tell all you faithful PST readers that Colombina is ... well not the most 'organized' person in the world. But then again she would have a hard time living up to the standards of her husband ... a self-confessed anal retentive German Virgo with obsessive-compulsive tendencies. She often compares my fastidiousness to "sleeping with the enemy." I see the strewn clothes and haphazard hazards and realize there is a method to her madness. Well actually just a madness to her madness but she SWEARS she knows where everything is. That being said, you don't want to be around when she CAN'T find something ...accusing all within throwing range of stealing, moving or otherwise relocating the items in question ... all with the wrath of a Naomi Campbell-Russell Crowe love child! I think PST readers would most be surprised to see how little perfume there is here at the moment. Or in sight anyway. Oh sure she has enough for ten life times but her collection seems to grow and ebb in waves. She can be extremely fickle in all things ... food ... reading genres, and even perfume. Presently her collection is rich in 'classics' with a lot of the fad ones removed once the thrill was gone. Colombina is by no means a hoarder. But that is not to say she is not sentimental. If shelf space normally reserved for french bottles becomes available ...it is usually filled with pictures of her family. Her taste for wall-mounted prints, paintings and pictures is usually far more tasteful than mine ... though if you saw what hangs on the wall immediately to the left of this (her) computer monitor ... you might not believe it. I'd tell you more. But I'd have to kill you. Well I hope that's a little peak into Colombina's world. Now let's see how much she censors. Happy Holidays to all. See you in 2008. What more can I say about Colombina AKA Marina? I LOVE THIS WOMAN!