Dirty Candy Jasmine: Bruno Acampora Jasmin

By Marina Actually, it's Poopy Candy Jasmine, in my highly scientific jasmine classification, but I decided not to put that in the title. Bruno Acampora's might just be one of the most indolic and sweet jasmines I know. It is fairly simple: you smell the indolic facet, you smell the honeyed one. That's all there is to say about its developement or lack thereoff. But it is perhaps this very straightforwardness that makes the fragrance appear so natural, so life-like....perhaps even large than life...like a wall-sized close-up of the petals... The unapologetic indolic quality of the composition further contributes to this very realistic feel of Jasmin. To me, it is also what makes it so attractive. “There is no quality in this world that is not what it is merely by contrast. Nothing exists in itself,” said Herman Melville. The heavenly beauty of the floral aspect of jasmine might be so irresistible to us (it has to be, given the amount of perfumes trying to replicate it!) exactly because it is perceived side by side with the very base fecal aspect. Having said that, this one is for hardcore jasminophiliacs and skank-lovers, and even they will surreptitiously wonder, like I do, what's wrong with them if they like this stuff. Others should try this candy once, just to say they've done it. Available at Luckyscent, $175.00 for 10ml

Perfume Review: Theo Fennell

Beauty and the beast, elegance and skank- that is Theo Fennell's scent. Created by Christophe Laudamiel, the master of oddness...the kind of oddness that is hard to pinpoint and describe, Theo Fennell's perfume wraps shamelessly animalic notes in an exquisite organza veil of rose, orchid and lily petals delicately spiced with saffron. The beginning is fairly shocking: it is the smell of clean sweat, sex-right-after-a-shower kind of smell, fresh and dirty and compelling. The musky, cumin-y accord begins to subside as flowers emerge, lush, slightly powdery, piquant and softened by a nice dose of vanilla and sandalwood. From then on, skank plays hide and seek, a faun cavorting in rose bushes, now you see him now you don't. This animalic warmth adds to Theo Fennel an additional layer of richness, lending this modern composition a certain old-fashioned quality...and when I say, old-fashioned, I have in mind the classic grand perfumes of the golden era of perfumery: their extravagantly rich and obscenely dirty bases, their luxurious sillages...Refined, sensual, quirky, the perfume is stunning. I also admire the way in which the perfumer tied the scent to the brand. The fragrance will go perfectly with skulls made out of 18k gold and diamonds. Available at theofennell.com, £68.00-£1,775.00

Stink, Stank, Stunk

By Tom Okay, my friend Marietta insisted that I worked that phrase in somewhere into a review. I can't think of a scent that it works better with than with Hermes' Eau d'Hermes, in the best way possible. March reviewed this a few months ago and when I had the chance to try it I of course had to. Its initial blast is very clean, and that lasts about three seconds before the cumin hits. Right between the eyes it hits. March writes that if you don't like cumin you won't like this one. More like if you don't like cumin you will curse the day you ever met this stuff. I love cumin, so I was pretty happy with that drrrty opening. Sadly, that initial come-hither opening after an hour or so fades from Vin Diesel to Vindaloo; it smells on me like something from Taste of India. While I love that smell in take-out, I am not sure that I need to personally radiate it. Oddly, the final drydown is fairly dapper, a complete 180 from it's over-the-top opening. Luca Turin curses it as having a feeling of monagrammed slippers and warns men of my age away from it. I don't think that's quite fair; the scent is briliiant and I think I need a bottle. I just won't wear it to work. Image source, hermes.com

Kissing cousins: En Avion and Vol de Nuit

En Avion by Caron Luca Turin’s description of En Avion in his Le Guide, as a fragrance fit for Sam Spade’s fiancée intrigued me enormously. He also describes this perfume as Olympian and suitable for an Amazon. According to Caron, En Avion was created as a homage to the first women of the skies (Adrienne Bolland, Hélène Boucher and Maryse Bastié), the adventurous ones, the ones who braved the elements. After sampling En Avion, I am not convinced about future Mrs. Spade and especially about a Greek goddess wearing this, but that is definitely what an Amazon might smell like. In fact, a woman wearing En Avion would be a great match for someone who wears Muscs Koublai Khan. That would be a union made in horse-riding barbarian steppe heaven. The official list of notes (“Orange tree, rose, jasmine, carnation…Totally new balance of rich flowers on a dry, spicy, wooded base.”) does not mention any animalic notes, but they are there, to my nose. The same “circus smell” as in Koublai Khan hit me when I first tried En Avion. It is not as wild as in the former but it sure is there. Not entirely unpleasant, weirdly captivating, En Avion is one of the most unusual perfumes I have ever tried. Vol de Nuit by Guerlain Vol Nuit is yet another aviation-related scent that I find to have animal accords. There must be some connection there, but it eludes me. Vol de Nuit was named after Antoine de saint Exupery’s novel, in which a pilot loses the control of his plane, while his newly wed wife is in the control tower, desperately waiting for any signs of life from his aircraft. It feels almost wrong that Vol de Nuit, this incredibly romantic story of love, is animalic on my skin. Think En Avion's prettier gentler younger sister. Think Muscs Koublai Khan's very distant relative. Perhaps it is jasmine playing its cruel indole game with me again. I don't know. All I know, there is something a little dirty and sensual in this fragrance, but that sensuality is suppressed. Fearless En Avion left behind her classy upbringing and eloped with Koublai Khan, while Vol de Nuit stayed at home, met her pilot and we all know the rest of the story. *The painting is An Amazon, by Franz von Stuck.

Muscs Koublai Khan by Serge Lutens

Koublai Khan, 1215-94, was a Mongol emperor, founder of the Yüan dynasty of China. He succeeded his brother Mongke as the ruler of the empire that their grandfather Jenghiz Khan had founded. The empire reached its greatest territorial scope with Kublai's final defeat of the Sung dynasty of China. Koublai promoted economic prosperity by rebuilding the Grand Canal, repairing public granaries, and extending highways; he fostered Chinese scholarship and arts; although he favored Tibetan Buddhism, other religions (except Taoism) were tolerated. Kublai encouraged foreign commerce, and his magnificent capital at Cambuluc (now Beijing) was visited by several Europeans, including Marco Polo. As far as I am concerned, there is none of that imperial splendor in Muscs Koublai Khan, no enlightened interest in arts and science; magnificent palaces full of priceless objects don’t rise before my eyes when I smell this fragrance. Serge Lutens creation is all about Koublai the warrior, a soldier among his soldiers, a conqueror prowling the great plains. Muscs Koublai Khan is raw, dirty and sensual. On the first sniff, this is, shockingly, the smell of a circus, you know the one, animal sweat and animal skin and all the things I will not mention here, a very distinctive smell that is repulsive yet weirdly appealing at the same time…Civet, castoreum, costus roots, patchouli…I have no doubt that this is exactly what Koublai Khan smelled like on his cleanest day while on a conquering spree. I would have never expected myself to like a scent like that, yet I find it incredibly alluring. Perhaps, Ambrose Bierce was right, and every Russian is a person with a Caucasian body and a Mongolian soul, and these are the deepest and the darkest recesses of my soul that crave Muscs Koublai Khan, this eau de blood-thirsty unwashed horse-rider of the steppes…Like Nikolai Gumilev, sometimes “I’m bored with people and the stories, and dream of the treasures of the kingdom, glories, and yataghans, all covered with blood.” *The painting is Koublai Khan by Frank Frazetta